Archive for May, 2011

Baby D ‘s first op-shop outing

Baby D had his first second-hand shopping adventure at the tender age of two weeks. We ventured to the Claremont showgrounds for the annual Red Cross Bindaring clothing sale. It’s the most exciting pre-loved clothing sale there is. It’s a huge warehouse full of very nice clothing for very cheap. It brings out the primal in the women that go there! It’s a madhouse of women rummaging through piles of clothes and stuffing them into huge bags and dragging them into the corners of the room to sort through whatever they grabbed. It’s exhausting to watch, let alone be a part of!

It was worth the effort, Baby D came out with a stylish little Country Road jumper and I scored this vintage trench coat for – wait for it – nine dollars! Even my hubby is a convert, he came too and bought himself a new wardrobe full of nice threads.

Kid’s garden patch

When I have had a good sleep I am so much more patient and calm and kind. I turn into a bit of a grumpy monster when I haven’t had enough sleep, which is going to make me no fun to be around for the foreseeable future. I was thinking about it this morning when my boy was tormenting me with one of his games. I realised the same game the day before had brought out a totally different reaction in me. He had a couple of spoons and was roaming around the house banging on different things and saying ‘music mummy, music’. Yesterday I was feeling well rested and I thought, how cute he is using his imagination and being creative and isn’t that wonderful. Today I just wanted to scream ‘shut up with that awful noise, it’s giving mummy a headache!’ I restrained myself though and didn’t say that out loud. I just directed him to a new game that was less annoying.

After I’d had a nap I mustered up the energy to do some gardening with Little Man. We had a scrappy looking patch of dirt that I thought would be great for him to take ownership of and make prettier, or possibly make look worse, we’ll see! It’s nice for him to have his own garden bed so that when he’s outside he has a spot to dig up. We went for a trip to the nursery and picked out flowers and a strawberry plant and we’ll water them and watch them grow.

what makes a good mother?

baby feet

For the most part D is a very content little baby. It’s early days, I know, but I am surprised at how natural it feels to have a little one again. After the joy of finding out I was pregnant I spent the rest of my pregnancy feeling terrified about having another baby. Most of the time I feel overwhelmed with having a toddler. On the challenging days, of which there are many, I despaired at the idea that we were going to be doubling the challenges when the new baby arrived. Being a mother doesn’t come easily to me. I am plagued with self-doubt and constantly wonder if I am doing it right. I wonder if mothers have always felt this way? I am sure I am not alone in lacking confidence in my skills as a parent. Did women in the past second-guess themselves constantly or did they just follow their instincts and get on with it?

I do feel much more confident with the second bub, because I have learnt so much about babies from my first one. It’s toddlerhood that is such an enormous challenge. It’s all still a learning curve with my first boy, I haven’t had any practice with how to handle a two year old. Some days it’s so hard to keep it together.

I realised a few days ago how raw I am feeling, emotionally and physically, after childbirth. Master E was a bit restless at home, so I thought it would be a nice idea to take him to one of the indoor playgrounds nearby. I figured he could run around and keep himself entertained and I could sit quietly with the baby and watch him play, and we’d all be happy. I left in tears. It wasn’t any one thing in particular that made me upset. It wasn’t the shrieking, squealing eight year olds running like a stampede around my toddler. It wasn’t the loud thumping music, or even that they played ‘who let the dogs out’ four times in the hour that we were there. It wasn’t the fluorescent lights beaming so bright I wanted to hide behind my sunglasses. It was all of these things that made me realise that I was in an environment so far removed from what I needed at that moment. I needed to be with my newborn, somewhere quiet, somewhere dark and warm. Somewhere calm. I started to think about how it was up to me to create the best environment for my kids. Of course the manic indoor playground was fine for a toddler, but it was so wrong for baby D. Having made this choice to be there and realising it was the wrong one made me feel despondent. All of a sudden this otherwise meaningless episode triggered a feeling in me. The enormity of the responsibility of motherhood occurred to me. I felt so overwhelmed and I cried and cried. I spent the rest of the day crying.

I hope I can look back on it in a few weeks and chalk it up to hormones. I few days later I feel better. Until I have another day after a night of sleep deprivation and it all goes pear shaped again.

a week old

glorious

glorious sleepy moments

You are one week old today Baby D . I have been reveling in the beauty and wonder of your newborn-ness. I am fascinated by all your features, the way you have been designed. You’re so unique and also a gorgeous combination of all of us who came before you.

You have a little head of fair hair, it sticks ups the same way Mister E’s does, little spiky tufts in the middle of your head. You are so, so incredibly soft to touch. Your whole body is covered in tiny soft downy hair that makes you feel silky and beautiful. I want to snuggle into you all the time. You have gorgeous long fingers and toes, so delicate and tiny. You make little O shapes with your mouth and when you open your eyes you focus so intently on the person holding you.

After your birth I spent a couple of days in the hospital to get some rest and to get to know you without the distractions of home life. I am so happy we had that time together. We’ve managed to learn that tricky dance that is breastfeeding and you are a very serene and content little boy during your feeds.

It was so wonderful to come home from the hospital, I felt emotional when I walked into the house and looked into our room and our bed where you were born. I was taken back instantly to the last time I was sitting there and your Daddy handed you to me in your first moments of life. I had the thought that we’ll have to keep that bed forever. I hope I can provide a home for you that is safe and warm and nurturing, that you will grow up to know that you are so protected and loved.

You big brother has been wonderful with you. He asks for ‘baby Baby D cuddles’ and is very soft and gentle with you. Though he wasn’t impressed that you were using his favourite blanket so we had to get you another one that is just for you. I hope that you two will grow up to be good friends. It’s only the start of our journey together as a little family and I feel complete.

A memorable Mother’s Day

Baby D, my mother’s day gift. Hello my boy, we just met but I feel like I have known you my whole lifetime.

You were born yesterday morning at 4.50am, at home, in our bed. We weren’t expecting to welcome you into the world at home but I am so happy that’s what you decided for us. You were in such a hurry to enter this world. I want to tell you the story of your birth…

Your big brother Mister E woke me during the night because he wasn’t feeling well and I had just gotten him back to sleep around one in the morning. After that I was sleeping lightly and around 2.30am I started to have the familiar rhythmic pains washing over my belly. I stayed in bed for a while just to be sure that it was really happening, after weeks of being so ready to have you, and anticipating that first feeling of labor I wanted to be sure it was real. I decided I couldn’t sleep so I ran a hot bubble bath. It was so dark in the bathroom and the cold air was coming in through the window from outside. I lit some candles and played some soothing meditation music and in the orange flickering glow of the candle light it felt like a little cocoon. I spent an hour gently lulling in the water. The feeling in my body wasn’t so intense yet, rubbing my belly in big soft circle motions was enough to sooth and comfort. After an hour, it was getting a little strained to lay on my back and I thought your Daddy might want to know that you were on your way. I didn’t want to wake him too early because I imagined we would have a long day ahead of us and he would need his rest too. I crawled back into bed and tried to relax and snuggle under the blankets, but I couldn’t be still. I had three or four intense rushes and had to get on all fours and rock and sway my whole body to cope with it. That got your Daddy out of bed and I thought he should go wake Nanny and let her know it was beginning.

It was about 4.15am by now and your Nanny came in to sit with me. I wanted to stay at home as long as possible before going to hospital. I called the midwives just to let them know that my labor had started and we’d be in later in the morning. While I was on the phone an intense contraction overwhelmed me, I dropped the phone on the floor and Nanny had to finish the conversation for me. After that rush I had another one that consumed me and I thought we should go, now, to the hospital. Your Daddy went to put my bags in the car and I walked out of my bedroom but had to sit down on a chair, when I sat I felt all the blood rush from my head. I felt so pale and woozy. I was so light-headed and went loose like rag doll.

Suddenly I became nauseous and had to run to the kitchen sink to vomit. I told mum I didn’t think I could get to the hospital, at this point the thought of getting in the car was impossible. I told her to call an Ambulance. Then I had the same feeling that I had just before Mister E was born. I felt like I just had to sit on the toilet. As soon as I sat down I felt a gush of liquid and knew it was my waters breaking. Instantly I groaned so heavily, I could feel you pushing down and I howled to your Daddy, the baby’s coming! He was calling the ambulance and Nanny was telling me to get to the bed. I took a few steps and had to put my hand between my legs to hold your head, I thought you were going to slide out onto the floor. I kept saying, oh the baby’s coming!

I got to the doorway of our room and your Daddy helped me onto the bed. Nanny was getting instructions from the emergency services on the phone. You were one step ahead of us the whole time. As soon as I crawled onto the bed on my hands and knees your head was already showing. I heard your Daddy cry that you were all blue and that frightened me. Your Daddy told me to wait for the next contraction and use that energy to push. I did what he said and in that one push you were born into his arms. You came out all milky and purple and your Daddy rubbed your back until you cried and opened your lungs and took your first big breaths of air. You quickly turned pink and I held you in my arms wrapped in blanket that Nanny gave us.

We were all completely overwhelmed and in awe of each other. Your Nanny and your daddy were amazing. Your Daddy was such a wonderful birth partner when your big brother was born two years ago and this time he was even more so. It all happened so quickly but it was perfect.

A few minutes later the ambulance arrived and the three of us went to the hospital where they cut the cord and checked you over and confirmed that you are healthy and  beautiful, 7.8lb and 53cm, and that your Daddy did a wonderful job delivering you. Your Nanny stayed at home to be with Mister E, who slept through the whole thing. Later in the morning they both came to visit and Mister E marveled at you and said ‘hello baby D’.

I had a feeling, or maybe just a strong wish that I would meet you on Mother’s Day. It was such a beautiful experience and all the more so for your special timing.

I have been overwhelmed with love and awe during both by childbirth experiences. I wouldn’t describe either as being painful but rather very, very intense. I am a little sad that perhaps this is the last time I will experience it, but I am delighted that now I am in the little bubble of newborn bliss and enchanted by your newness and how little and precious you are.

homemade lemonade

lemonade

I was hoping that today I could report I made a baby, but no…

I can say though that I made lemonade. With 1 part fresh lemon juice, one part sugar syrup (1 cup sugar dissolved in 1 cup of water) and 3 parts chilled soda water. It’s yummy and refreshing and surprisingly not too sweet. It would have been perfect during our long hot summer, but my lemon tree has only just decided to give up her bounty.

… maybe he’s waiting to be a Mother’s day baby?

By the way, if you know me and you live nearby I have a lot of lemons, so please let me know if you want some!

lots of lemons Mister E helping to pick lemons

crocheted laptop sleeve

crochet ibook cover

Look at the beautiful ibook cover that my mamma crocheted for me. I wish I could take credit for making it but knitting and crocheting aren’t in my skill set… yet! She used this pattern, and also made me a matching cover for my iPhone. My mum is a gem.

Today is bubba’s official due date. I am going to go see a movie. Isn’t it just so decadent to see a movie in the middle of the day in the middle of the week. The movie is called babies. I am hoping it will get the hormones going and make my little guy get a wriggle on!

bag bag

In a further effort to keep the baby change table area in some kind of order I decided to make a bag to hold my nappy bags. I do try to avoid using plastic bags at the shops, but sometimes I just forget to take my eco ones, and at least if I re-use them for nappy bags rather than throw them straight in the bin it’s not quite as bad. Though still not good, I know! Uuugh the pressure to be green is enormous.

Anyway I had fun sewing this and it was super quick and easy. I just made it up as I went along but there are lots of tutorials online, like this one at basil bush.

bag bag - buttonhole

tissue box cover

tissue box cover

Mister E had a play date at a friends house on Friday so I chilled out and did some sewing. I don’t posses a whole lot of patience for sewing so projects that I can get done in a few hours suit me best.

I have moved the baby change table into our living room because I don’t want to be going in and out of Mister E’s room during the night to be changing the new bub. So I have all the things that go with changing piling up in the living room, wipes, nappies. lotions and tissues. Since it’s all on display I thought I might make a tissue box cover so at least that looks cute. I googled for a tissue box tutorial and found this one at Kirin’s notebook. It only took me a few hours and I enjoyed being able to start and finish it in one go.

I bought the fabric from Calico and Ivy in Mosman Park. Easily the most gorgeous fabric and knitting supply shop in Perth.

threads and buttions sew sew sew robot fabric from calico and ivy